King Elros of Númenór (elrosofnumenor) wrote,
King Elros of Númenór


I see Queen Blacksail got my message, and her fleet has joined ours in attacking Dol Amroth. That's, um, good.

Why were we attacking Dol Amroth again?

Oh. Because Éowyn said so. And as she is my good friend/ally and my favourite King other than myself... yeah. Bad bad Dol Amroth.

I AM NOT A CARTOON ANY MORE. Must celebrate. Later. First, must come up with plan for revenge on the individual who laughed at me the most when I was.

Also planning to get in a big fancy-schmancy ship with a huge banner and sail to join my fleet... only Wolfgang took all the big fancy-schmancy ships. And the sight of the King in a rowboat is not one that inspires armies to victory. So I did what any great man does in a situation like this. I CALLED MY MOTHER!

Elwing: ARR, what?
Elros: Hi mama!
Elwing: Elros! What?
Elros: Um. Hi?
Elwing: Whadda ya want?
Elros: Er, well, you see...
Elwing: Arr, shut up and answer my question.
Elros: Well, like, um, I, well, there's this war... andWolfganghasalltheboatsbut- Ineedtogosailtojointhefleetinareallybigboat- soIcanfillmypeoplewithhopeofvictory!! so, um, help?
Elwing: .........
Eärendil: (in the background) Who?
Elwing: It's-
Eärendil: My mother?
Elwing: Nope
Eärendil: Still drunk?
Elwing: NO, it's our son.
Eärendil: Which one?
Elwing: The younger one.
Eärendil: Oh! Hi Elrond!
Elwing: ELROS is the younger one. Arr.
Eärendil: Right.
Elwing: (the rolling of her eyes was audible.) Sorry about that. What were you saying, boy?
Elros: Can you, um, like, come pick me up in dad's shiny boat and take me to Dol Amroth?
Elwing: ...Bloody kids never grow up always driving them around like a fucking chauffeur grumblegrumble etc. Sure, kid!

So that's what happened. I'm on the dock waiting for my parents, who are going to take me to Dol Amroth. Okay, I know being driven around by my parents isn't very kingly, but it's better than the rowboat, right? I swear, though, if she starts asking if I remembered my toothbrush, I am jumping overboard and swimming right back here.

Shit. I forgot my toothbrush.
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